in true halloween spirit

zim woke me today by sneezing in my face.

then he tried to bury my friend's coffee cup. the cup was sitting on the wood floor.

he then, with flashing eyes, climbed to the top of the ponderosa pine, meowed, and made his way slowly down.

and then, climbed as fast as fast to the top of the ash, meowed his triumph, and made his way down.

and now, he sits quietly in the sunlight, as if none of this ever happened.

he's a brlack cat.

things to remember.

no, you can't only love when you want to.

the strange boys

there's winter all over the floor here.

i like the snow when it is wet and sloshy and the windshield wipers swish it off without scraping. i like the gush gush gush sounds on the ground.

i've listened to the song heartbeats, performed by jose gonzalez, enough tonight, but i'll keep listening. quando m'en vo, heartbeats, repeat. weird combination.

i went to class tonight. there was no class. i locked my keys in the fat boy. a new friend called AAA.

there's an empty space between my sternum and my heart.

returning to high

i dreamt about notch peak last night, walking through the bristlecones, looking straight ahead at the cliff face, nearly falling over the edge.

not distracted.

abstracted.

go see "angels in america" performed by the salt lake acting company.

part one shows through the 31st.

in4mation

warmer longer.

colder soon.

ahora, sí, estoy enamorada

the serviceberry leaves are red.
the oaks are dropping acorns.
the bigtooth maple leaves are sugary and falling.
the male tarantulas are wandering.

today, i found a dead bumblebee clinging to a rabbitbrush stem.

everyday with the garden will be missed.

Por donde fuimos, islas o puentes o banderas,
violines del fugaz otoño acribillado,
repitió la alegría los labios de la copa,
el dolor nos detuvo con su lección de llanto.

Soneto XXVIII, Neruda.

afuera

The brushing of teeth, since he was a child, has always been for him an outdoor activity.

TEP, p. 86

to expose our follies.

i have around 500 fotos in my photobooth application. 85-90% of those fotos are of myself and zim.

success?

The plain fact is that the planet does not need more "successful" people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every shape and form. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane.

David Orr, What is Education For?, 1991

angle of repose

genevieve, a geomorphologist, explained to me last march that the angle of repose is the degree at which rocks and debris rest after mass fail, or erosion.

this weekend, i was down on the staircase, looking at the rocks, comme d'habitude. they are beautiful because they have fallen. they're at rest, but they'll fall again. and something new will be beautiful.

was the quiet i always felt in you really repose? i wish i thought so.
wallace stegner, AofR, 12.

i myself like the porcupine.

fenomenally simple animal fotografs here.

often enough

i wake up to myself rearranging the stacks of books next to my bed.

i should put them on the shelf.

one cannot fathom such things.

if texas was populated by only women, and they had to stand two feet apart at all times, would texas secede from the union?

(8 year old boy)

what are you doing?

i'm kicking my butt.

(i asked the question. a 6-year-old girl answered it.)

if we could.

The boy steadied his breathing and told himself firmly, "You are not afraid of this. This is just a human heart, that's all. Just like in the encyclopedia. Everybody has one of these. I have one."

WUBC, p. 420

i knew i was in for a good week when one of my small ones asked me, "do you want to enter a time and space portal?"

(child, kicking each thistle plant as he walks by)
you're no good at soccer.
you're no good at soccer.
you're no good at soccer, you don't even have hands, you couldn't even be goalie.

why did the chicken cross the road?
because he got ranned over.

why did the chicken cross the road?
to fart.

why did the apple cross the road?
applesauce.

knock-knock.
who's there?
banana.
banana who?
aren't you glad i didn't say banana?

knock-knock.
who's there?
boo hoo.
boo hoo who?
you're crying.

knock-knock.
who's there?
andrea.
andrea who?
don't you know yourself?
why would i be knocking at the door and answering the door?
i don't know.

knock-knock.
who's there?
andrea.
andrea who?
andrea rabbit head.

these children are not afraid to hold hands.

one little sweet babe squeezed my hand twice, and whispered "robin!"

and, walking up the switchbacks this morning, we came upon a rattlesnake. he was just off the trail. i wanted everyone to get a chance to look at him.
i thought we were done when i heard little sweet babe crying. i asked her if she was afraid of the rattler.
"no," she whimpered, "i didn't get to see the snake."

i keep referring to the "kids" as "people".

we all know that children don't become people til late in their fourteenth year. we all know it, except me.

no apologies.

allow me to nerd out.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NESTCAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this one i remember.

saturday night, sleeping on a slab of slickrock hanging over fish creek, i dreamt i was sleeping under a blanket made of tufted evening primrose. beth says i startled her when i thought it was floating away.

i'm ok with my decay.

i quit. then i didn't.

but i might again.